Wednesday, June 7, 2017

Was it a mistake?

I did something i hadn't done in a decade, that i swore i would never do again. I don't want to go back to those dark days. So I'm cautious and worried about falling back into this trap. Even so, there are a few interesting things that came out of the experience.

  1. It leveled me out. I felt calm and clear. More evidence that I need ADHD meds.
  2. I felt energy so intensely and clearly.
  3. I could manipulate energy so easily.
  4. My chakra points were on fire and I felt so in tune.
  5. It reaffirmed my belief that everything is vibrations, quantum theory.
  6. It was spiritual, it seemed like evidence that we are inherently beings of energy. Which gave me hope that Gerard still exists.
  7. I was able to cast spells and see their effect. I reforged my withered bond with Gerard and made contact with him in his plane of existence.
  8. I felt his love, and peace and acceptance from him.
  9. I felt that I was ok, perfect the way I am and I should live in what makes me unique.
There was more, but I can't remember it all at the moment.  I don't want to go back to regular or even occasional usage, there are far better substances for spiritual experiences.  But I am glad I did it.  It rekindled the spark of hope inside me.  It gave me room to be spiritual again.

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