I did something i hadn't done in a decade, that i swore i would never do again. I don't want to go back to those dark days. So I'm cautious and worried about falling back into this trap. Even so, there are a few interesting things that came out of the experience.
- It leveled me out. I felt calm and clear. More evidence that I need ADHD meds.
- I felt energy so intensely and clearly.
- I could manipulate energy so easily.
- My chakra points were on fire and I felt so in tune.
- It reaffirmed my belief that everything is vibrations, quantum theory.
- It was spiritual, it seemed like evidence that we are inherently beings of energy. Which gave me hope that Gerard still exists.
- I was able to cast spells and see their effect. I reforged my withered bond with Gerard and made contact with him in his plane of existence.
- I felt his love, and peace and acceptance from him.
- I felt that I was ok, perfect the way I am and I should live in what makes me unique.
There was more, but I can't remember it all at the moment. I don't want to go back to regular or even occasional usage, there are far better substances for spiritual experiences. But I am glad I did it. It rekindled the spark of hope inside me. It gave me room to be spiritual again.